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Помогите с английским

ОФФ (болталка. Не про детей и родителей)
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Арма
20.09.2016
Девочки,понимающие в английском языке!Помогите,пожалуйста,проверить небольшой текст,составленный ребенком. Я -увы в этом не сильна((
My summer was filled with bright and unforgettable moments. Perhaps the most memorable period of this summer I was working as a job counselor at a children's camp.
In my squad there were the smallest children of the 6-7 age. At first it was very difficult. My children did not obey, they weren't hooligans, and we quickly found a common language. By the end of that 21 days, we were one big happy family.
On the last day no one wanted to go home and say goodbye to the camp. I also knew that I will miss my children, events, concerts, games.

For the last day of the camp, the final concert each team prepared a performance. According to the rules - I had to be on the stage together with the children. But I was very afraid of being on the stage. Since childhood, I had glossophobia. We had a very responsible attitude to the statement of the performance on the gala concert. Almost a week we were setting and rehearsing the dance. I was very worried that the guys might be lost and forget their movements or something will go wrong. But on the rehearsals they showed a top class.
All presentations were interesting and incendiary on the concert. But the closer the time comes to our performance, the more I was nervous. We have already gathered behind the stage and waited until we were called. At that moment I was approached by a girl - Lisa from my squad. She took my hand and said that she it very scared. She reminded me of my childhood. I squeezed her hand and said that we will cope with all and everything will be fine. At that moment I realized that I grew up and must be responsible for my kids. The fear has disappeared.
Our performance was the best at the concert, despite the fact that my children were the youngest. The children were no longer afraid of the stage, and they really liked it. And most importantly, me to. Also I fight the fear and I won was able to encourage children through difficult time.
My best moment of the summer, and probably the most significant on is what happened to me recently. It was the realization of my growing up, overcoming fear. And in this I was helped by my favorite squad, my little children!
seamcat
20.09.2016
я бы сказала, что написано "по-русски" английскими словами :)
Плюс кое где путаница во временах и пара опечаток.
Арма
20.09.2016
Помогите, пожалуйста, исправить,если Вам не трудно. Очень надо))
seamcat
20.09.2016
я вам в приват написала
o.stin
20.09.2016
Очень много страдательного залога, не говорят так.
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